For you
Its been quiet
Here
Yet I feel you
Near
Why
Are
You
Shy
To flow?
Tender, my heart
Yearning
Reaching out
But I’m learning
To breathe
Without
The pressure
Of needing
To see
The red
Of going over
In my head
All the ways
I could push
You
Rather than simply
Feel you
For how you are
For what you need
Softening into
Letting you lead
By the whispers of what you know
So I surrender to your own flow
Whether soon
Or later
I won’t rush you
I’ll do what I know will nourish you
And let you be
Free
To return when you are ready
To trust your process of shedding
I’ll hold your space
With
Sleep
And softness
As I dive deep
Into the quiet
Sensing your whispers
I’m with you
I feel you
You are free, my love,
My Sweetness.
This poem was written from the heart, as I'm feeling into ALL OF THE FEELINGS of being in Amenorrhea. After 7 years of no blood, 18 months ago she came. (I wrote a post on this moment here)
Since then, I've bled maybe 5 or 6 times. I've heard that it can take some time to regulate and become more frequent, as the body re-learns how to move through a cycle again. So I've been practicing patience each month, tuning into my cycle and hormones, and trying very hard not to feel disappointed when no blood comes. It has been sometimes 2 months, and sometimes 4 until I bleed again.
At this moment, it's coming close to 4 months with no bleed, though I have been feeling very sensitive to my womb rhythms and moods and cramps and changes. I've been feeling that impatience arising again, feeling myself getting more sad at not seeing her.
So these words came through today, in the energy to reconcile with her and make peace with her process.
It's not easy. Sometimes I'm a very patient person. Other times, the complete opposite. Right now, I'm somewhere in between. Writing these words and re-reading them really drops me back into that space of trust and love.
Poetry is just one form of inner-voice expression - one I have always practiced and felt called to do. I wrote poems since I could write!
Maybe these words resonate with you, or maybe this energetic balance of patience and trust is something you can take into another realm of your life.
Sending you, and your womb, juicy love.
xx Shae
