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The Fear in Joy

“This so beautiful, expansive & scary.”

He said this to me a few days ago.

I said those words too.

Can you relate to this?

Where your deepest desires are fulfilled...

Where you’re given everything you didn’t even know you wanted...

And you feel fear come in.

Why do we get scared of this?

A few reasons...

ONE - we are afraid of it ending.

We feel scared to really let the joy be felt because what if that experience goes away?

Would all of the happiness, joy & love go away too?

So we don’t fully let ourselves open to these gifts.

We remain fearful & seek to protect ourselves from feeling the pain of losing something so good, that we don’t allow ourselves to accept it in the first place.

TWO - we feel unworthy or undeserving of the gifts.

Often wrapped up in childhood wounding.

Where we adopted a belief about ourselves & our place in the world.

We carry core wounding of not being ‘wanted’ or ‘good enough’ or ‘lovable.’

If we haven’t healed these wounds (inner child work is incredible for this) then this will impact on what we open ourselves up to receive & what we continue to believe about ourselves.

So, when beauty comes our way, we don’t trust it, as it is not congruent with our beliefs (even if we know these beliefs are limiting).

THREE - It’s not familiar & the unfamiliar is scary.

The familiar is comfortable.

We’re not risking anything by staying in familiar ways of being (we think).

Actually, we can risk experiencing deep love & intimacy, reaching our potential, peace & happiness by staying only in the familiar ways of being.

But our psychology isn’t wired to understand that in its fear-response.

When we start to experience something that we haven’t before, even if it’s YUM, it’s scary because it is not familiar.

Our ego identity that is wrapped up in what it KNOWS ITSELF to be (the familiar) feels threatened.

It should.

Because when you touch the unfamiliar, you expand & evolve & the self you were before is dead.

If we’re not aware of this pattern of unconsciously moving away from the unfamiliar, we will self-sabotage (unknowingly).

We do this to simply bounce back to a familiar place of being (even if we say we don’t want to be there).

It requires reprogramming.

How can we receive the beautiful gifts without the fear of it ending (leading to insecurity), as well as not fully letting it in, or bouncing back to a familiar place?

Awareness & self-inquiry.

Explore where your fear may originate from. AND THEN - accept it when it arises.

You can then work with accepting the state of the impermanence of life, without fear.

You can then have space to do the inner child work.

You can then cultivate the courage to be in the unfamiliar places.

For me, it is a fleeting fear that dissolves very quickly.

I’ve done A LOT of inner child work & accepting the transition nature of life.

But still, it sometimes comes up.

What I do is the moment it arises, I replace the thought & vibration with GRATITUDE.

A gratitude that says not only “thank you”, but also, “thank you for these gifts that I know I deserve & that I am loving receiving.”

Our thoughts are how we communicate with ourselves.

They lead to how we communicate with the world through our actions & words.

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Our Art of Communication course not only gives you tools & techniques for clear & loving communication - it is also a deep inner journey of unraveling your patterns & creating a new way of communicating with yourself.

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